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Answer from our Guest Expert Peter Hupalo of Hupalo Ltd. PAGE2 Getting to Yes No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No Yes According to Getting the Job You Really Want by J. Michael Farr, this paragraph above is what it looks like when we seek employment (and I would add information and intimacy). I think this is less an issue of rejection than finding the right fit. Rather than see yourself at the mercy of others' seemingly arbitrary decision-making, what if you saw those no's as the wrong fit for you. In other words, make them YOUR no's. If you're normal, you usually talk to yourself like this: "Yes, that was a pretty great interview and I am basically qualified for the job. Looks good...but what if I'm deluding myself? What if they didn't like me? Oh, I shouldn't have made that comment about...." Have this conversation with yourself instead: "Yes, that was a pretty great interview...I dressed well but not overstated. I was clear about my criteria. I mean, I really feel good about interviewing them at the same time they were interviewing me. Even if they offer me the job, I still feel put off by ...but I'm willing to talk to them about it and see if it fits what I need....." It Still Feels Rotten Sometimes! Absolutely! But it is possible only to control what you do with any given circumstance. So feel rotten and then pick back up again and look for what truly serves your goals. It doesn't help to deny your feelings, certainly. But if your feelings are getting in your way, transform them into motivators for success! Page 1 - 2
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